bummin... bigtime

Q: Shall I or shall I not write about my personal feelings in my blog?

A: Fuggit, why not?

Feelin pretty sorry for myself today. Bad case of the lonelies. Wish I could talk to her. A small gathering of unanswerable questions has formed around me. Questions whose answers may or may not help find a cure for whatever I've managed to contract. How am I supposed to proceed?

Partying has been my temporary oasis. At the end of my nights the oasis fades into mirage and i'm left with my feelings... and they suck. trying to keep a healthy balance though. it's critical i not ignore the sadness. gotta learn to keep on, keep on truckin.

so we've got this 'no talk' rule right now. it's supposed to make all of this easier. starting to question the validity of that rule. maybe this is one of those that was meant to be broken? i wanna know what she's thinking... i wanna know whether to give up. is that what she wants me to do? but i'm not supposed to ask.

gonna shut it for now... keep on truckin... just ride this one out.